2.A try of moving on

Farah opened her eyes, feeling that heaviness again, which she was so used to!, and she even knew the remedy, it was a glass of lime water

,.."limo pani for u",  shehna's ecstatic voice made her open her eyes immediately, she was sitting by her side, holding the glass, and her eyes told her that she was awake the whole night, and she immediately looked at the wall clock, it was 10.

"what the hell are u doing here so early in the morning?", instead of taking the glass she questioned her in a stern voice , "di ye good morning bolne ka koi naya tariqa hai?", she tried saying it in a jubilant voice, and placed the glass on the table and started adjusting the curtains

"phir se manzar se jhagra kiya hai?",farah knew the answer, but still she had to start the conversation ,"di, tum pehle limo pani piyo main,

"farah got up from the bed  and stood in front of her , "why are u ruining ur family shehna?",she softly cupped her face and shehna hugged him, "why are u ruining ur life di?"

Farah closed her eyes letting the freshly formed tears to flow, she broke from the hug and went to the bed, grabbing the glass and gulped it down in one breath, and again lied down closing her eyes, shehna sat beside her, stroking her hair, her warm touch was really making her headache fade, she shifted her head form the pillow to her lap, "kaash main maa baba ki baat maan leti", after a long time, farah spoke up,

"di tum phir se", shehna's voice has started breaking, ' aur kia karon shehna, kaash main 5 saal pehle yahan ayi hi na hoti, maa baba thek they, main akeli reh hi nahi sakti, dekha akela reh k kia haal kar liya hai main ne"

"di tum tu bus parhne ayi thi, its just u got bad company.."

"I chose bad company shehna!", her voice was stiff as always, "u choose ur friends, and I made a wrong choice", she took a deep breath, "deliberately"

Shehna didn't know what to do further,

 "but I am glad u agreed to maa baba, see u have such a loving husband, two beautiful kids, a happy home, don't ruin all that for me shehna, I am just not going to recover, this addiction is very bad,

"di bus karo, ", shehna almost shouted and farah sat up and went to the window and shehna followed her , "I was so happy when u told me that u and manzar and shifting to toronto, I thought we all will  have so much fun, but I always trouble u, tu mujh se mat mila kar shehna tu..

"Di main tum se miley bina zinda reh sakti hon?", she said rolling her eyes  and farah laughed hugging her , "acha bata how are rohan and araav?", she asked abt her nephews

"thek hain, they miss u so much, kal bhi keh rahe they k maasi doesn't comes to meet us anymore"

"awwww..my babies were missing me,", her expressions turned soft, "ok, today I will meet them, what abt I go their school?

"gi nahi, u come to their home, let's have dinner together, sham ko ghr a jana di"

"shehna ghr rehne de na"

Shehna knew why was she ignoring, "dekho di, manzar ki taraf se main maafi.."

"nahi shehna", she placed her hands on her shoulders, "its not manzar's fault if he is cold towards me, who will want a drunkard..

"diiii!,", this word cut her like a blade, "aj k baad tum ne aisi language use ki tu phir dekhna,", her eyes had started brimming with tears, but she managed not to cry, "di tum shaam ko a rahi ho and that's it!", shehna tried to smile and farah had to agree, "thek hai, I I will come"

Farah agreed and that was it for shehna, after sometime she left and farah was again alone, she saw her whole house was set, as always, shehna did all her work.

She herself was tired of this life, she wanted to move out of drugs but it was very difficult, she wanted to  lead a normal life, but the addiction was just not leaving her , she wanted to have  a perfect home like shehna, but she had no one.

She decided to take muffins for her nephews, entering the kitchen she started looking for desired ingredients. She prepared a lot of them, she really loved her nephews, shehna and manzar, and although manzar was a bit cold towards her, but she understood that it was her fault.

During all this she was again and again feeling a strange craving, her head spinned a lot of times, but she managed to control. She managed to shrug off the thoughts of drugs again and again, because she was thinking about the beautiful smiles araav and rohan would have seeing these muffins.

Almost in the evening she was ready with the baking, she chose a knee length brown skirt , tied her hair in a ponytail and applied eye-liner in her eyes, and bit of gloss on her lips, this was the only make-up she ever used to do.

She grabbed the muffin box and her overcoat and stepped out of her home.

After so long to day she was not heading towards any bar, she was going to meet her family, she felt good , nice, and respectable.

She was walking down the road, the wind was chilly, she reached the bus top, there were many people there, all may be returning from work, going to their homes, after so long she felt one of them. The Bus arrived, she reached the other stop. From here again she had to walk.

 She was walking, she knew this place, her beats were fastening, unconsciously her mind started to smell alcohol, her steps became fast, she didn't want her mind's desires to take over her, she really wanted to go to shehna's home, but her feet stopped in front of the bar. She  swallowed lumps in her throat helplessly standing outside the bar... and.. inside the bar, he was unconsciously waiting for her..